Random Bullshit
Thrills Gum is available in Canada and is made to taste like soap on purpose. Also, it costs $1.25 for 14 pieces. Which means that Canadians are willing to pay 8.92857 cents to have their mouth taste like soap for a little while. Also, this means that there are enough of these people around for Wonka to consider producing soap-flavored gum a good business move. This is all the proof you need that Canadians aren't normal.

Ever wondered who those masked men in the band Slipknot really are? Take Note: The Get Up Kids are Slipknot. No, for real. Here's my proof. (a) They do releases together (see left). (b) They hang out together (Here's a quote from the official Get up kids site: "We drove to Belgium to play the Pukelpop Festival where we had a great time and hung out with the guys from Slipknot...It turns out they are from IOWA which is 3 hours from KC and that we have a lot of mutual friends."). (c) They've never been seen in the same place together (The Clark Kent Theorom). (d) The Get-up Kids know that they would only face further ridicule if their fans found out about ther 'Nu-metal' side project. Hence, the masks.

They're making Bibleman action figures. For those of you unfamiliar with bibleman, check out bibleman.com. Yes, that's Willie Aames, TV's 'Buddy Lembeck.' Yes, he's now hawking christianity. The part that I'm having trouble with is the action figures. The two characters being immortalized are Bibleman, and his arch nemesis, 'El Furioso.' My main problem is the big fucking sword Bibleman has (it got cut off in the image. Imagine another inch or so of sword). What's with that? Shouldn't a Bibleman action figure come with a 'pendant of forgiveness' or something lame like that? Surely having a crappy name like 'El Furioso' isn't reason enough to MAIM him with a HUGE sword.

Dubble Bubble makes a blatant Bazooka rip-off gum. It even comes with comics. Unfortunately, the comics are 100% unfunny. What the hell is going on here? Are the people angry that he's chewing gum in a building classy enough to have an elevator? Are they angry that he has a dog indoors? Either way, is the fact that one of these inconsequential circumstances angers them supposed to amuse the casual gum-chewer? Also: their main character is named 'Pud.'

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