This semester I have two teachers on opposite sides of the ‘bad’ spectrum.

     One is the sort of teacher who you can tell has no idea what he is talking about, but he’s trying really hard. It’s fairly obvious that he skimmed the chapter the night before and is trying to look like he knows this material like the back of his hand, but he keeps confusing terms and using words that aren’t actually words. Two other things he does:

  • He teaches anthropology, and he goes out of his way to VERY LOOSELY relate EVERYTHING to september eleventh.
  • Answers student’s questions by inexplicably, and exhaustively answering completely unrelated and easier questions.

     The second teacher is the sort of guy who knows his stuff, but delights in taking every opportunity to point out that you don’t, EVEN THOUGH HIS JOB IS TO MAKE SURE YOU DO.

     Sir, thank you for pointing out that I do not know how a diode works. One thing you may have overlooked is that if I did know, chances are I wouldn’t have enrolled in a class that focuses one third of a semester on diodes. Assbag.

     Actual photgraph of a sign in front of an auto dealership by my house:

     No word on whether or not Jesus will be making other stops or if this is a one-off appearance.

     I was at work the other day and noticed that HBO Family has released a wave of “Harold and the Purple Crayon” books to tie in with their childrens series based on the original “Harold” book of the same name. The really annoying thing about these new books is that nowhwere, inside or out, does Crockett Johnson’s name appear. This wouldn’t matter if, say, he wasn’t the person who CREATED THE CHARACTER. HBO hired some hacks to write new stories and emulate Johnson’s illustration style, and natuarally, these folks are given credit right on the front cover. Way to go HBO.

     Have you seen this director’s bureau site? Due to their web designer thinking ALL people are stupid (Instead of just MOST people), you can work around their links and download some artsy fartsy music videos in the realvideo format. Highlights include (Right click and “Save As” to download):

Air’s ‘Playground Love’
Air’s ‘All I Need’
Air’s ‘Kelly Watch the Stars’
Air’s ‘Sexy Boy’

JSBX’s ‘2 Kindsa Love’

Pulp’s ‘Party Hard’

Liz Phair’s ‘Down’

The Rentals’ ‘I’m Waiting’
The Strokes’ ‘Last Nite’
Ween’s ‘Voodoo Woman’
The Avalanches’ ‘Frontier Psychiatrist’

     If you live in Michigan and / or Windsor and / or somewhere near there, you should get all drunk (ie “crocked”) and add yourself to

     A super Good / Long / Candid interview with Chris Murphy of Sloan fame can be found here. If you’re a Sloan / East Coast Canadian music fan, this is an indispensible interview. If you’re not a fan I’ll save you some work and post the best parts.

On the English Music Press:

So they like having first run at bands.

Yeah. Basically, there’s a guy named Jerry Thackerty (sp?) who goes by the name Everett True, do you know that guy?


He sorta discovered Seattle and grunge and all this shit. He was basically paid by SubPop to discover Seattle and that’s how it got big. It got big through England. But he was saying, he told me, he went to Halifax and he saw us, Eric’s Trip and Jale play a show. He said, well here’s what I’m gonna do, I’m gonna say I love Jale, because they’re unsigned, I’m gonna say Eric’s Trip are ok, because they’re an indie and I’m gonna say you guys aren’t that hot, because you’re signed. Because, you’re of no use to me, because you’re discovered. So he basically told me how it works. I don’t hold it against him, I actually like him, I still talk to him from time to time.

On being humble:

You really don’t see yourself ranking up there? It is hard to think of maybe because it’s you?

I guess so, we’re my own favourite band. I’m a fan-I love-I’m proud of what we’ve done and everything. I mean, ask me about other bands, I hate them all. I think we’re the biggest band worth a shit in this country. There’s a lot of awesome bands, but they’re all tiny. They don’t have a story, or they didn’t luck out with the timing the way we did. Do I collect Sloan shit for the fuckin museum and coffee table book? Yes. Am I deranged? Maybe.

On tactfully answering questions:

Do you ever look at the websites or things like that? I saw one today, and the girl who had done it had one of those counters on the bottom of the page, and she’d written ‘I have had [counter] many dreams about Chris Murphy’ around it. Does that ever bug you that you have the 14 year old girls after you? You love it!

I’m not gonna do-I’m not gonna fuck them or anything. They don’t have to worry. There’s nothing weird about it, it’s just kids.


…regarding the PEZ popcorn from the last update:

     “Hey man, i’ve been a reader of your site for about 2-3 years now. Anyway, about that PEZ Popcorn business… i work for a company, we are the ‘licensing agent’ for PEZ candy. i’m only an assitant there to pay for bills, but anyway. these things are made by a company in Canada called
Krack-O-Pop. i have tasted all these. i have seen the approval process of these since day one. it’s sick, but
the people at PEZ love them. i have loads of them at work. you would be AMAZED at how well they sell. i was amazed, and yes, they are mostly disgusting. but if you ever see something PEZ (besides candy) that interests you, let me know and i’ll try to get you a sample…

p.s. try to find the PEZ Candy ice pops. warning: they aren’t much better.”

…regarding my luck:

Subject: You lucky bastard

“I guess you beat me to the domain name.

My name is Paul Kempa. I was looking to get a simple web domain. Oh well.

I find it unusual to see many Kempa names around the country, do you?

Have fun with your site and good luck with school.

Also, I’ve recieved two emails that agree that the keychain I had previously asked about says “Auto Paddock.” In case you were wondering, I mean.

     So I finally saw all of Wet Hot American Summer on DVD, after having seen bits of a ‘camera in the audience’ style bootleg on someone’s computer. In case you did not know this, it stars members of MTV’s The State. Their usual brand of absurd humor is present, and the DVD extras are actually pretty hilarious. If you, like me, continue to mourn the loss of The State, you can download all three MTV seasons here. If you actually do this, I would love you forever if you would burn me copies, as I’m still on dialup and it would take me approximately three lifetimes to download even one of the seasons. [Looks like it’s down now. They just posted season three, so they may have gone over their bandwidth limit for January. Try again in February.]

     If you’re bored on Friday, February 1st come to the Halfway Inn in Ann Arbor and watch me play drums for the Pop Project. It’ll be fun, I swear.